AS 'PAPPY' CONTINUES TO BURN BRIDGES, LANCE LOSES MORE CREDIBILITY

A Story Of Two Grave Diggers That Have Dug A Hole So Deep They Can't Get Out

As the feud between new Boston slugger Bobby 'Pappy' Papesh (above) and his former Oregon Pioneers GM Jamey Carter continues in the SIMBL press, Papesh has given the 'thumbs down' sign to Carter every time he has reached base this season with his new Revolution team after spending his first 15 seasons with the Pioneers, going to 9 All-Star Games, winning the 2035 UL MVP and last season's ULDS MVP and UL right field Silver Slugger Award.

By Jack Handdy
SIMBL Contributor

Late August of 2039 was not a pretty time to be a Oregon Pioneer player or fan. Season after season started with promise and ended in pain and misery. The club went drastic and reached out to a former skipper and general manager in SIMBL lore. GM Jamey Carter had a history of success in this league. But he was talked out of retirement and came back to the SIMBL after a five-season hiatus to bring glory back to the early days of Pioneer legend after decades of despair. Though much of the end of the 2039 season after his hiring were spent scouting his own team and planning a strategy for success, the club house atmosphere improved immediately.

"That's what makes (long-time SIMBL scribe) Lance Stanley's recent 'hit piece' so confusing," explained beat writer Jamie Moyer of The Oregonian. "Skipper Carter has a great relationship with all his players, past and present."

During the first off-season, moves were made to shore up the Pioneers biggest weakness: the starting rotation. "The staff ERA in 2039 was not terrible, but our saves and holds were near the bottom of the league," said Pioneers current pitching coach, Dennis Eckersley.

"That's because the starters could rarely hand the bullpen a lead. It was a constant battle to not give up the first runs to our competitors."

Being in a role of both Pioneers General Manager and Manager, Carter went out and signed three new starting pitchers to take over the 1, 2, and 3 slots in the rotation in 2040 off-season free agency: SP Chris Morales from Hawaii, SP Steven Lee from Bristol and SP Kelly Martin from Toronto which were all Type A free agents which cost the Pioneers their second, third and fourth round picks in last season's draft.

"He went to the owner and said, 'I need to spend a least fifty bills to make this a post-season team'," Eckersley continued. "And let me tell you that did NOT go over well. But when he brought three All-Star caliber starters to spring training, this club house was on cloud nine."

And then came the hard moves. The already solid outfield had to make room for Angel Vasquez, the #8 overall pick in the 2038 SIMBL Draft, a phenom at Triple-A. Some guys in the outfield were going to lose at-bats.

But hitting coach Edgar Martinez explained it well. "He came to spring training and told the guys, 'success breeds success'." And five weeks after Opening Day it became apparent that another phenom would be joining the lineup: shortstop Casey Garner, the quick-ascending #2 overall pick of the 2039 SIMBL Draft. "It meant trading away All-Star shortstop Matthew Young" (to Texas early in the 2040 season).

"That trade was the first sign that no player was safe if they were not holding their own boo-yah," retorted ESPN's Chet Harper. "Sweet sassy molassy, you know Carter meant it too. He was willing to give a vet a chance, but don't shove a puck up his pooper!"

Young started off the 2040 season slow at the plate and Garner was already in the big league clubhouse after getting the call to the big leagues just a week into the season. "He and Matthew were close," claimed Martinez of the relationship between Garner and Young. "They were roommates and when Matthew was traded to the Roadrunners, it was a celebration in the clubhouse for everyone and Matthew. It meant both shortstops would get regular jobs."

"My relationship with the skip [Carter] and Casey and everyone in the Oregon clubhouse has remained strong," claimed the former Pioneer, Matthew Young, recently. "Carter called me a handful of times last season after the move. He sent my kids an Xbox for Christmas this off-season. Do you know another manager that cares that much after you are gone?"

We all know the story about 2040 for Oregon. The team was turned around. The city of Portland was abuzz again. Pioneer crests were up. Bars were packed to the hilt for playoff matches for the first time in over a decade. And before that there was the last home game of the 2040 season.

"The fans didn't call for a curtain call of a (Chris) Metcalf home run during that game," according to Pioneers Fan Club president Oppie Cunningham. "They didn't ask for UL Rookie Of The Year shoe-in and eventual 2040 UL MVP Angel (Vasquez) or seven time SIMBL strikeout champion (Chris) Morales.  They chanted for Carter. They chanted for the architect of a complete organization turn around."

And that is no joke.

Last season after winning the division crown and being the first SIMBL team to punch their ticket to the playoffs, the stadium in Portland erupted in a chant of "CAR-TER, CAR-TER." They would not stop. They would not leave. The players and the coaches would start to walk off the field and the standing ovation just got louder and no one was heading to the exits.

"The leaders of that team carried the skip (Carter) on their shoulders for a lap around the field. Fans were throwing roses on the field like he had just slayed a bull. He brought Pioneer pride back to each and every player," added Cunningham.

The team carried that momentum and celebration into the division series with a sweep of Bristol. "They have a great pitching staff over there in Bristol and last season were arguably one of the best in the league," explained Eckersley. "But we out-pitched and out-hit them every game in that series. They looked ponderous, man. Really ponderous."

But there was a call out. Carter called a spade a spade. Long-time franchise face Bobby Papesh's sub-.300 batting average was questioned in the press after he demanded the team not pick up his $20,000,000 option and instead offer him a raise to $25,000,000.

"I don't know what Pappy was thinking there," said team captain John Svoboda. "And to do it with a tweet too."

Pioneers VIP Fan Club president Cunningham further explained, "There is no denying it. Papesh was already the highest-paid player on the club so when he was hitting below the team batting average, slugging less than two rookies were.  Yeah it caused a stir."

According the Cunningham and other sources inside the clubhouse, Carter and Papesh had a heart-to-heart after the season, before the playoffs. "They decided," said Cunningham, "that they'd let the off-season worry about the off-season and try to bring home a SIMBL Coveted Cup to Portland for the first time in 29 years (The Pioneers swept Calgary in the 2011 SIMBL Coveted Cup Championship Series to win their only franchise SIMBL championship)."

Whatever agreement they came to, it seemed like water under the bridge. Until recently. Controversial hit-piece writer, Lance Stanley has since come out with a Papesh interview that includes a string of foul language labels. It didn't sit well with Pioneer players. It didn't sit well with Pioneer fans . It didn't sit well even with George Lucas.

"It was a complete mis-characterization of GM Carter and the entire negotiation process with Pappy and his agent," according to ESPN analyst Chet Harper. The Oregonian's Jamie Moyer called it fiction and added, "It what the sports world has come to expect from Stanley." When asked to specify, Moyer just shook his head, "Lies. He simply spews a few stats and then comes lies. He represents the dark arts of sports journalism."

"Girl don't go away mad. Girl, just go away," added Motley Crue's Vince Neil.

"Pappy dug his own grave," explained Cunningham. "He decided he wanted more money on a club he knew was going to allow him to reach the playoffs for the foreseeable future. He was the highest-paid player on the team and wanted more. I have to imagine letting him go was easy. Why offer a clubhouse cancer your wallet?"

According to Stanley, the move to bring in future first ballot SIMBL Hall of Fame DH Julian Winfield was planned all along to get rid of Bobby Papesh. Stanley claims to have sources in SIMBL print media and sports radio in Portland as well as the Pioneers VP Fan Club President, Oppie Cunningham.

"Please. He never talked to me!" according to Cunningham. "The only time he calls for comment is when the team is struggling to get to .500 and he is looking for quotes for his next hit piece."

According to ESPN's Chet Harper, a vote on the ESPN website nationally, when asking respondents "Who do you believe more: Lance Stanley or Emperor Palpatine?" Ninety-two percent responded with Emperor Palpatine. He explained, "when two fictitious characters go head to head in credibility, I guess the Sith Lord wins."

We talked to a number of former players of skipper Carter. Plenty were willing to go on record. When asked if they could do it all over again an only play for one manager, who would it be, all of them said Mr. Carter:

All played under Carter in his 2016-2033 tenure as the Ruston (First File Era) and Rochester Roosters GM. Two-time no-hitter throwing and  New File Era SIMBL Hall Of Famer Justin Montgomery. 20-game winner and long-time Rooster Stan Pennington. Free-swinging slugger and 2025 SL MVP Joe Buchanan. Speedy outfielder, four-time All-Star and three-time SL Gold Glove Michael Sanders. Even the 41 games started in a single season and SIMBL Hall Of Fame legend SP Alberto Tovar had a difficult time choosing between playing for Carter or legendary San Diego skipper and seven-time league champion Paul Ware.

So what is next for Pappy and Carter?  Well, Bobby continues to hit for a lower average than his now new team's lineup. One might say he is struggling a bit to start 2041. He ranks sixth in home runs. Not in the league, but just on the Boston roster. He's batting .244 and on pace for his worst campaign at the plate in his career.

His replacement in the lineup, Winfield, at the ripe age of 42 is out-hitting him in pretty much every stat line: .270 AVG 4 HR and 13 RBI in 21 games played with Oregon. "The man stole a base last week. He's 42 years old!!" pointed out Cunningham.

Carter has got the Oregon Pioneers flying again to start 2041. Angel, Casey, and Metcalf are picking up right where they left off. Edgar Martinez further explained another new young face this season, (Former #20 overall pick in the 2037 SIMBL Draft) "Luis (Carrasco) is looking real good and giving this team, even this league, a look at what an elite hitting catcher can do."

He's not wrong. The 22 year-old rookie catcher is batting .359 to start off the 2041 campaign and has thrown out 7 base runners. "He gives the pitchers a great target and fills them full of confidence with his presence in the club house," claimed Eckersley recently in a post game press conference after he picked up three hits on Cleveland.

"The kid can hit and it ain't no accident. He puts in extra work. After practice with the pitchers and everyone hits the showers, he hits the batting cages for a few more hours. He's a model ball player."

We may not have heard the end of this tale, but one thing is certain: current players, past players, media members, rock and roll legends, and Hollywood film directors all agree that two-time SIMBL GM of the Year, Mr. Carter has earned the respect of those he knows and works with, not just through club performance, but by the integrity he has shown to all he comes in contact with. Also, with last season's voted-award, Carter is the only GM in the SIMBL's 37-season history to win a SIMBL GM Of The Year Award with two different franchises.

"He is an absolute genius!" according to Dallas Texans GM Robert Don.

(After this article was posted by the SIMBL Press to the SIMBL Front Page and website, Carter replied via the SIMBL Slack Room:)

"As the feud between new Boston slugger Bobby 'Pappy' Papesh (above) and his former Oregon Pioneers GM Jamey Carter continues in the SIMBL press, Papesh has given the 'thumbs down' sign to Carter every time he has reached base this season with his new Revolution team."

Maybe that is why his is reaching base so infrequently; doesn't want to get Xbox thumb cramps.

I'm sure that Boston would love to have him dedicate more of his energy towards actually bringing some runners around to score? He is currently on pace to finish 2041 with a stat line of .244 AVG 8 HR 46 RBI

I do not think Pappy remembered how hitter friendly Lewis And Clark Field was before he walked out the door. The entire starting lineup in Oregon, 1 through 9, each have individual batting averages better than his. All nine, 1 through 9, each have equal to or more RBIs than he does. And 8 of 9 each have more extra bases than he does. Yet not a single player in the Pioneers organization is making as much as Pappy is, despite his taking a slight pay cut from last season (after initially demanding a raise).